Eye Opener

There are so many things to write about sometimes I don't know where to start. Things have been a little quiet lately. I guess this is my breathing space. My daughter never seems to rest, her mind is always thinking about her friends or trying to make a special friend. I realize my daughter has a quest for a best friend. I see her looking at photos of girls that call one another best friends and I see a longing in her eyes. I decided to try and help her in a inconspicuous way. I will invite a girl she knows over for this coming weekend. I am going to see if they want to go to a haunted house. In October we always hunt out the haunted houses or hayrides. I am like a big kid anxiously waiting for Halloween. I plan on making a few trips this October and I will include this girl in our family travels. I hope this will help bring the two of them closer.
As a mother I am willing to do whatever I have to do to keep my daughter safe and happy. I am probably the most paranoid mother in the universe. I will wait outside the mall while my daughter shops with her friends or goes to the movies. This entails up to 5 hours in the car. Sometimes I drive around the mall and check the entrances to make sure she is not outside doing things she shouldn't. Of course my daughter has no idea that I do this. I will sometimes seat myself outside of the movie theater (kinda hiding) to make sure she doesn't leave. I do these things because I am scared to death that she will get herself in trouble with drugs. remember she has already tried pot and alcohol at her tender age of 14. I also snoop in her room when she is not at home, going through each drawer, cubby hole and pocket that I can find. I would make the FBI proud. I have learned to be a detective.
Just this past weekend my daughter got together with a few of her friends that I do not like. She would never know that I don't like them. I have learned to keep my enemies close. The one kid is the one that gave her alcohol. When we picked this boy up my husband had a talk with his father about his son giving our daughter alcohol. My husband told him the next time the police would be called along with the school. The father was nonchalant as if his son gave our daughter a snicker bar. My husband told this boys father that he would be talking with him about the situation. Near the end of the day my husband called this boy over and told him that he is not to give our daughter alcohol again or the police would be called and so would the school. The boy gave us lip service and that was that. I thought our daughter would be upset about the talk with the boy but she actually looked relieved. This showed me just how strong peer pressure is. This boy is a disrespectful kid who looks like a freak. I have learned not to say anything negative because it just makes our daughter want to be around them more. The less I say the more she sees with her own eyes. I don't even want to tell you the nasty thoughts my husband and I had about this kid. We fantasize what we would like to do to these kids and it relieves alot of stress.
I would feel better if these kids parents cared about what their kids do. Half of the parents know their kids are doing drugs and alcohol and act like they don't care. It is very sad to see. I am going to the school to see if I can start a program for the teens after school. I want to get the kids together in a supervised setting. I will plan trips and outings for these kids and I am going to try to see if I can help them in someway. Wish me luck.

Mean Girls

Ever see the movie Mean Girls? If you have you know its straight from the classroom, if you haven't you must go rent it. If you have a preteen or teenage daughter watch this and you will see what they have to go through everyday. This is a sad reality and I hope for most girls this isn't their reality. Girls can be cruel. This is a fact. You have several different groups in school and always the perfect (In their eyes) group is always in charge. I would hate to be a teenager today. If you aren't in with the popular crowd than your life could be pretty miserable in school. Teens don't realize that the trauma that they put some kids through can really effect their adulthood. Everyone starts to try to find themselves at this age and desperately seek peer approval. Sad to say but some teens have died trying to gain the approval of their peers. If this mean girl group could be one of the less fortunate for one day they would truly change how they treat others.

When the unpopular kids can't fit in sometimes they resort to finding any group that will accept them. These kids will change to conform as a last ditch effort to belong. I have had the unfortunate experience as seeing this for myself. Straight A students become D students, happy kids become depressed kids, christians turn the other way, drugs, alcohol and sex become the most important thing so that they may fit in. Some of these kids don't really like who they are but they don't want to go back to being alone, some enjoy being able to mask their pain with these 3 evils. These poor kids are caught in a twister and some won't make it out alive.

How can we help these kids? They think that as parents we don't know what we are talking about. We want to ruin their fun, we are jealous because they have friends and are fitting in, we are to straight edge and just don't understand. I have tried to talk to my daughter and share my experiences with her but all I seem to get is the famous "eye roll". I try to get her to engage in activities with kids like herself but she turns into a member of the Mean Girl club.

Tell me please what are we suppose to do? My heart is breaking and I am scared for my daughters life. I see her spiraling out of control. Please comment with any helpful advice.

God Bless

My little Girl

OK, now the school therapist tells me that my daughter thinks she is gay or bi. Well I talk to her about this and she denies ever saying it. I explain to her that its normal to feel close to the same sex and she should not label herself until she can understand exactly what she is feeling. She still denies everything to me but continues to spread the word of her new found sexuality to everyone at school. OK, not all the kids are so welcoming on this fact and some tease and some pull away. She seeks out the ones who will give her sympathy and is willing to listen to her stories. I'm not sure if she is doing this to seek attention or if she truly feels confused about her sexuality. The kids she hangs out with tell her the drama is getting old and she starts to manipulate the therapist. I try to talk to her but she won't listen and runs away. Meanwhile her grades are slipping lower and lower and everyday I get emails from the teacher or teachers. The teachers say she is not doing her work and she forgets her homework or where she left her books, etc,etc...

I really try to talk to her and get into her head. Something from sixth grade comes up in the conversation. She tells me that in 6Th grade (this is when she was a straight A student) a group of the popular girls come up to her and say " You would be cool if you didn't wear your hair that way and didn't have braces and dress more on the cooler side" Well they tease her about being a straight edge and getting good grades. Well she takes this to heart and does a triple turn around.