Eye Opener

There are so many things to write about sometimes I don't know where to start. Things have been a little quiet lately. I guess this is my breathing space. My daughter never seems to rest, her mind is always thinking about her friends or trying to make a special friend. I realize my daughter has a quest for a best friend. I see her looking at photos of girls that call one another best friends and I see a longing in her eyes. I decided to try and help her in a inconspicuous way. I will invite a girl she knows over for this coming weekend. I am going to see if they want to go to a haunted house. In October we always hunt out the haunted houses or hayrides. I am like a big kid anxiously waiting for Halloween. I plan on making a few trips this October and I will include this girl in our family travels. I hope this will help bring the two of them closer.
As a mother I am willing to do whatever I have to do to keep my daughter safe and happy. I am probably the most paranoid mother in the universe. I will wait outside the mall while my daughter shops with her friends or goes to the movies. This entails up to 5 hours in the car. Sometimes I drive around the mall and check the entrances to make sure she is not outside doing things she shouldn't. Of course my daughter has no idea that I do this. I will sometimes seat myself outside of the movie theater (kinda hiding) to make sure she doesn't leave. I do these things because I am scared to death that she will get herself in trouble with drugs. remember she has already tried pot and alcohol at her tender age of 14. I also snoop in her room when she is not at home, going through each drawer, cubby hole and pocket that I can find. I would make the FBI proud. I have learned to be a detective.
Just this past weekend my daughter got together with a few of her friends that I do not like. She would never know that I don't like them. I have learned to keep my enemies close. The one kid is the one that gave her alcohol. When we picked this boy up my husband had a talk with his father about his son giving our daughter alcohol. My husband told him the next time the police would be called along with the school. The father was nonchalant as if his son gave our daughter a snicker bar. My husband told this boys father that he would be talking with him about the situation. Near the end of the day my husband called this boy over and told him that he is not to give our daughter alcohol again or the police would be called and so would the school. The boy gave us lip service and that was that. I thought our daughter would be upset about the talk with the boy but she actually looked relieved. This showed me just how strong peer pressure is. This boy is a disrespectful kid who looks like a freak. I have learned not to say anything negative because it just makes our daughter want to be around them more. The less I say the more she sees with her own eyes. I don't even want to tell you the nasty thoughts my husband and I had about this kid. We fantasize what we would like to do to these kids and it relieves alot of stress.
I would feel better if these kids parents cared about what their kids do. Half of the parents know their kids are doing drugs and alcohol and act like they don't care. It is very sad to see. I am going to the school to see if I can start a program for the teens after school. I want to get the kids together in a supervised setting. I will plan trips and outings for these kids and I am going to try to see if I can help them in someway. Wish me luck.

My Little Girl

I am sure that every mother has at least a dozen special moments with their children that they will never forget. You know the ones, etched in your heart and mind.

I remember my daughters first Father Daughters Dance in 5th grade. Boy she was so excited and scared I can still see her face and feel the emotions that she displayed. Oneday she came up to me with a look of worry on her face and asked me if I would show her how to slow dance. My daughter was so worried that she would not dance well enough for her dad. I was so excited and touched that I enthusiastically said yes. I went to the cd collection and choose a Randy Travis cd. I can remember standing in the kitchen with my little girl in my arms and dancing with her to this cd. I will never forget holding her and the overwhelming feeling of love. I was so proud of her for wanting to learn to dance. We practiced everyday up to the night of the dance. I know she felt proud of herself. I will never forget the special times we shared in our kitchen dancing to Randy Travis.

I enjoyed the whole preparation for this Father Daughters Dance. We went to the mall to pick a special dress out with a beauiful pair of pearl earrings and a matching pearl necklace. The night of the dance we did her hair special and prepared for her special day with her dad. My daughters father rented a tux and they made it like a date. They went out to dinner first and than to the dance. My husband had the teachers at the dance take photos of them dancing and I will treasure those pictures.

Each time I look at the photos from the Father Daughter Dance it takes me back to a time when my daughter was My Little Girl. I look into her eyes and I see innocence. When my days are rough I look at the photos and think of happier times. I love My Little Girl so much that my heart is hurting. I can see the change in her eyes and we no longer share special moments. I can see through the bad girl act and what keeps me going is I know My Little Girl is there somewhere.

I pray eachnight that I will see that girl again. My daughter has made some unwise decisions and I am worried for her. I feel at times that I am in a stage of grief. My feelings are as if I am grieving. I guess in away I am. I hope my daughter will see that she doesn't need to do drugs or alchol to fit in. The drugs and alcohol are pushing her true friends away. Please pray for my family and any advice is welcomed.